Saturday, October 22, 2011

OK, fuckstick: how about YOU make ME laugh

Because we all know you like to be made to laugh; you’ve told us, over and over and over again. Collectively you have said “live laugh love” or "make me laugh” a thousand million billion times. Or you’ve put up the whorish-sounding “make me laugh and you can make me do anything." Make me laugh and you can sneak it in my ass, is that what this means? Make me laugh and you can jerk off in my mouth while watching porn? Make me laugh and I will fuck guys off craigslist and bring you back the money? I mean, I shouldn’t complain about this-- I am not a professional comedian, but I consider myself funny. And girls do in fact “do anything,” although the “anything” that I’m asking for is just to fuck me in the most vanilla manner imaginable. I don’t require that they cook me a meal or take me on a date or engage me intellectually or anything, and they certainly haven’t offered. Make me laugh and you can make me do anything. That pretty much spells it out-- you bring the personality, I’ll bring the pussy.

And frankly not much else. I know this is sexist and has been done to death, but why are girls so fucking unfunny if they like funniness so much? It’s like fat guys who are really into televised sports. If you consider this activity to be the greatest thing in the world, why don’t you go out in the park and toss a fucking football around once in a while? If this thing brings you so much pleasure, why aren’t you interested in creating some of it yourself? Why do you have to be a completely passive participant? Don’t you want-- like, even if you just selfishly want to be made to laugh without having to contribute, don’t you understand that being at least marginally funny or fast on your feet will help the person whose job it is to actually be funny to get out of his wheelhouse and create fresher, funnier material for you to laugh at as a precondition for fucking? Don’t you see the guys getting bored telling you their canned pussy-getting funny story for the ten thousandth time? Don’t you want to help the poor bastards out?


Blogger Audrey said...

You think its sexist? No way. It's feminist. It's feminist of you to expect women to bring the same shit to the table.

And anyway, not all of us ask for you to be funny. Some of us just ask you to be hot, down to fuck, and also participate in equally-given, stimulating conversation.

8:03 AM  

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