Friday, March 18, 2011

Seventy Seven Cents on the Dollar

I keep hearing on Adam Carolla that women made more money than men last year. Women made 51% of the money. Because construction jobs went away, basically. There are less employed carpenters, electricians, and plumbers. Dude jobs. This must be money made by wage earners only because I can’t imagine that a couple big hedge fund guys alone couldn’t tip the balance back towards the bros. But maybe those are joint assets. So maybe it’s true: women made more money than men.*

I’ve brought this up a couple times, to a couple women, and they both freaked out. Like, NO, that is NOT TRUE. Or even if it were, women still make less for the same work anyway. If you and me had the same job, I would be making seventy seven cents on the dollar.

They love that one and don’t want to give it up. You begin to feel that if we established wage parity in this country the pain of having to stop railing on that figure would outweigh the financial gain. Seventy seven cents on the dollar. A knee jerk reaction, bringing that up, and then whenever it’s brought up on the internet you get the corresponding knee jerk guy saying when you control for the hours actually worked and maternity leave and blah blah blah the real figure is more like ninety nine cents on the dollar. Which I kind of believe, because I don’t know a single woman in my industry at the same level as me that makes less than me or any other dude I know. But who the fuck knows?

I should go research this and get to the bottom of it but I feel like it’ll just be a rabbit hole of debate by people with agendas on both sides. Women clinging desperately to the sacred idea that they’re victims of broad oppression, and the far more obnoxious whiny men who’ve set up this countermovement of you guys don’t have it so bad, women are now 60 per cent of the Ivy League, you can still take my money if you get a divorce, etc. Which, if you don’t have any money because you got forced out of your Ivy League education by some girl with higher SAT scores, what are you worried about?

Seventy seven cents on the dollar and one in four women are raped. And rapes are grossly underreported and when they are reported the conviction rate is freakishly low, so the amount of women that are raped is unknowable, but we know that it’s one in four women are raped. Again, no idea how they came up with this– it feels like some agenda-driven bullshit straight out of the Womyn’s Center™, but what people really mean is to bring up a larger point: basically, a shitload of women get raped, and it’s terrible (and some man should do something about it). I don’t know if they’re talking about Biting Beaver rape where giving a chick two glasses of chardonnay makes you Uday Hussein, or the classic ski mask guy with a box cutter grabs a jogger by the ponytail, but whatever.

Seventy seven cents on the dollar, and one in four women are raped, and one in ten people is gay. Or men at least. One in ten is fully gay and only one in ten is fully straight, and the other eighty per cent are bisexual, which would seem to imply that it’s distributed so that the guy who’s in the eleventh percentile of being gay is into dudes ninety nine per cent, that half of these bisexuals are mostly into men. That one got kicked around in my very progressive junior high school and no one ever called it a crock of shit. I think it traces back to some study done by Kinsey where ten per cent of men had had at least one experience of homosexual activity in childhood, whether voluntary or involuntary. But it turned into the idea that if you describe yourself as heterosexual, or if only girls give you a boner, it is really you that is in some tiny minority. Some freakish aberration. Who knows. I try making out with a dude every five years just to make sure and it makes my dick shrink into an acorn. Which sucks, because gays always grab the dick during the makeout. I’m sure they talk.

Seventy seven cents on the dollar, one in four women is raped, only one in ten men is straight, heterosexual sex carries a huge risk of AIDS, etc. etc. etc. All these things, all maybe bullshit, but I agree with the larger points. This is bullshit constructed to support an agenda that I endorse. Of course a woman doing the same work as a man should get exactly the same amount of money (although, try actually doing the same amount of work, you lazy cunts.) Of course women get raped far too often and it’s completely fucking horrible. Of course people should lay off the fucking gays for having one attribute that, while relatively rare, is inborn, natural and normal. Of course we should have given money to fight AIDS back in the eighties instead of brushing it off because it only affects junkies and gays.

All these things are things I agree with but all of these statistics make me want to punch whoever says them in the fucking mouth. Because at best they’re meaningless boilerplate and at worst they’re fucking destructive lies.

Anyway.

* Or maybe it’s bullshit from some douche with an agenda.

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