Friday, January 22, 2010

Dear Nicole,

"Everyone is convinced" that I want to fuck you? Let me end this speculation: I want to fuck you. If I ever thought I could fuck you, I would fuck you. I would fuck you good. If you ever get real drunk around me when we're alone, I will be fucking you. Fucking you good. I will feel bad about it; I don't like fucking with people's relationships. But besides smacking my cat once the only thing I ever regret in life is pussy I didn't get. I'm never going to *try* to fuck you. Even if you break up with Stefan, I'm not going to put the moves on you. But god damn it, Nicole, I want to fuck you like Haitians want 6,000 pounds of concrete to not be on top of them. For the record.

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