Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Don't date me

I have a shitload of ants in my house because I never take out the trash. I put my cat’s food bowl in a plate of water to keep them out of it. And that’s all I'm going to do. Otherwise I would have to research ant control products, figure out which ones are safe for my cat and aquarium, find them, buy them, apply them, etc. etc. Which, no. I already have a fucking job.

Every morning when I’m sitting on the toilet, a few of them crawl onto my scrotum and bite it. It really hurts. They have sharp, serrated pincers. But still. No. No more work. I’ll take the pain. It’s the price of freedom.

Plus it’s funny that they're taking tiny pieces of my ball sac back to the nest to feed their young. Maybe it’s a special delicacy reserved only for the queen.