Saturday, April 08, 2006

the hand of doom

is upon me. i have gonorrhea. i know it. my prostate is all swollen and weirdly sensitive, and i have to piss every fifteen minutes. and there’s like pre-cum that like, every piss is like the first piss after you beat off— some innocuous baby-oil like substance oozes out a little afterwards. and this must mean i have hpv, too, although the thing with hpv is that one of the things that they use to scare you about it is that everyone has it. which is like— ok, then why bother worrying about it? but the chick i fucked is having cancerous growths removed from her cervix as we speak; obviously they were caused by massive genital wart clusters and i’m going to get them too, and never be able to fuck anybody again.

and i’m losing my job. three weeks to go. going on all kinds of interviews; occasionally people are just telling me to fuck off in the room. my rent got raised, just last month, just as it became certain that i’m going to get laid off. i thought i would be getting a decent chunk from unemployment but it turns out you don’t get shit. i’m afraid to even find out. i am so fucking – assfucked… fucking fuck. as it stands every single penny is spoken for… having my income cut in half—fuck. and i have gonorrhea. and i will have genital warts. and now i smoke again, after five years. and holy jesus assfucking christ it’s only going to get worse from here. my car is about to break. i’m gaining weight, etc. etc.

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