Thursday, April 13, 2006

and i needn't tell you he tears a page from pliny

i am waiting to call the doctor’s office back and get my test results to see if i have gonorrhea and/or chlamydia in addition to non-gonoccocal urethritis. they keep fucking up— they were supposed to come in yesterday, but they didn’t, and they didn’t come in today either. so i’m waiting to call back after the nurse finds out what the fuck is going on.

i am nervous as hell about this. even though if i have chlamydia the antibiotics i’m taking now will wipe it out. i am nervous that i have gonorrhea and will have to go back for more tests, more experiences of gloved hands stretching my urethra a part and rubbing it against a microscope slide.

i can’t even think about that shit anymore. these pills don’t seem to be making the shit go away. it’s exactly the same. they make me sick. i drive around to job interviews with my irritated urethra and a pall of puke-feeling. i have to piss every fifteen minutes. whatever i have is something weird, that’s why the tests won’t come back… something weird that will require specialists, repeat visits, enormous outlay of money and swabs skewering my penis.

i called the girl last night. i’m proud of the way i handled it— very matter-of-fact and non-judgmental. topically it’s one of the classic awkward conversations of all time but i handled my shit.

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ok, fucking—still no results. now it’s tomorrow. dear jesus fucking god. i am still too focused on my penis-pain to appreciate the irony of my having been obsessed with getting laid, only to have it turn into a monstrous debacle when it happened. tonight i’m going to burn down a church.

1 Comments:

Blogger Mr. Richard Lee said...

I told you that Filipina women are all whores.

10:47 AM  

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