Monday, October 10, 2005

diary 7/23/05: sprinkles cupcake bakery

So should I go to Sprinkles or not? I've been thinking about it all day and there are weird obsessive drives on either side.

But I have this whole plan; I know exactly what I would get. One dark chocolate. One pumpkin, one strawberry, one vanilla, one red velvet with cream cheese frosting. That leaves one extra, which would either be pumpkin or vanilla. Or maybe strawberry. And then three extra shots of frosting, either three vanilla or two vanilla and one strawberry. Or maybe I would add the vanilla milk chocolate as the sixth cupcake, although there doesn't really have to be a sixth cupcake since there is no bulk discount. Six cupcakes as a group cost exactly the same as they would purchased separately.

But I want the fucking cupcakes. Desperately. I would drive out there on the same route that I drive to work-- a half hour, park at the work lot, walk over there, and bring the cupcakes back, and then go eat them with chad and courtney. So I have this idea planted in my head and it's like jonesing for coke-- if it doesn't happen I'll be crabby and weird. At the same time, if I do do it I'll feel that same creeping weight-loss guilt and won't be able to get over it. And then when... when I start fiending for fruit or whatever on sunday night I'll feel all guilty-- didn't weigh myself today..... this whole thing is just all hairy and out of control. I mean, I couldn't just eat one cupcake because the whole effort of going out there requires that it be the be-all end-all experience, and I want to make sure all the desired flavors are represented. Plus I want the cupcake-eating experience to last for a long time.


Blogger cathy no said...

pumpkin is my favorite flavor. i love punkin ice-cream, cupcakes, lattes, cake, everything!

5:42 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

I like sticking my head inside a jack o lantern and just taking a huge whiff

1:33 AM  
Blogger Mr. Richard Lee said...

Julie's comment reminds me of a the old "Dutch oven" trick, where you rip a fart under the blanket while you are in bed, and your girlfriend or wife is also in bed next to you with her entire body (and head) underneath the covers to get that 100 percent full aroma whiff.

3:21 AM  
Blogger cathy no said...

i do the dutch oven all the time to my bf! i'm so unwomanly.

8:34 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Isnt that a Sopranos thing?

9:08 PM  
Blogger vulkoqq said...

i couldn't do that. i get a lot of these awful farts lately where-- you know, all farts smell like shit, but the ones that smell like there's an actual piece of shit *in the room*... like there's one lurking chunk of shit left in your ass and the fart has to emerge around it. these farts-- a dutch oven is bad enough but to give someone one of these farts would really be crossing a line. they would think that i had actually shat the bed.

cathy, just farting in bed doesn't count as a dutch oven-- the person has to be completely under the sheets. if you really do that, that's fucking disgusting.

4:30 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

I bet Cathy's farts smell like lotus blossoms.

When I was a kid I would do that to my beagle and she'd go bonkers with delight sniffing around. Dogs love that kind of thing.

1:31 AM  
Blogger vulkoqq said...

albert used to grab people's cats, hold their face up to his ass, and fart on them. i tried it once. the cat was a very cute kitten and when i farted on it it ran to the litterbox.

i felt guilty afterward.

2:56 AM  
Blogger Mr. Richard Lee said...

When I was a little kid, my neighbor's Siamese cat used to throw up and piss in our front yard, leaving bright yellow and orange spots in our dichondra grass. So, as my revenge, I would do my best to lure the cat and pet it softly. Then, when it started purring, I'd pick it up and throw it into the bushes. Sometimes, I'd throw little rocks at it, but usually the cat was too nimble to be hit. I performed my cat torture on a number of occasions, and after a while, that cat would run away whenever I was near. It still threw up on our lawn when I wasn't around, though.

9:37 PM  

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