Tuesday, July 05, 2005

relapse-o-rama

I did cocaine on friday. I'm still hung over... it was always the case that the next day would be a fucking disaster, just restlessly sleeping all day and then finally getting up to order 20 domino's chicken wings and watch TV... but nowadays, as you get older, you know, hangovers develop this unholy staying power, they become these epics with such far-reaching consequences that to get real drunk or high just once is like this life-changing event... the hangover is like having the flu, something you can really only afford to go through two or three times a year. So it's been 36 hours and my mind is still crippled and numb, my body is still stiff and... fucking, spasming... and I'm trying to force it and go out and walk the streets and do my normal weekend errands and shit but the world is in a swimming haze and I get distracted by weird hallucinatory furry animals running across my peripheral vision, weird brown dogs and like.. wolverines... swarms of asteroids...

I am too old for this shit. But I fucking miss it! Look, I'm fucking entitled, because-- I am miserable all the goddamn fucking time, I am despondent and without hope every second of every single fucking day and sometimes i just want to feel different, and if it's just for a few hours-- ah fuck. I just want to feel something else. And I know what it's going to be like, degrading into endless repetitive conversations, and then the crash-- the crash

1 Comments:

Blogger Julie said...

You should go to Nevis and get a Rum Tonic treatment at the Four Seasons Spa. HereĀ“s what happens: you get undressed and a woman rubs rum and sugar all over you for about 45 minutes. Then she gives you a vichy shower and you just go totally limp while she rubs you down. It costs about $150 but theres no hangover.

1:47 AM  

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