Wednesday, April 27, 2005

i'm sorry

That I haven't been posting. I just have nothing substantive to say. Lately I've been trying to lose weight. And I've been succeeding like a motherfucker-- i lost 20 lbs in 3 months; I'm ripped as fuck. But a consequence is that for most of the day I'm in a surly, hypoglycemic daze... I saw a random picture of a "cookie cake*" on the internet today and I swear it was like looking at the hottest porn I've ever seen. I think about a warm, glazed Krispy Kreme chocolate doughnut and it almost makes my dick hard... and so I can't write anymore. I can't think anymore... I just want chocolate and pastries.

I'll never make fun of fat chicks again... I can understand now. Seriously, I would rather eat a cupcake than fuck a chick.

* two gigantic cookies sandwiching a layer of icing, topped by more icing.


Blogger Julie said...

Hahah I'm picturing you whacking off to tiramisu.... Tim. For real. You can't do this to your fans. I'm not usually one to blaspheme, but "Fuck."

2:13 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

ok that was more like an ugly curse

5:08 AM  
Blogger Mr. Richard Lee said...

So much for the Caroline myth, er, story.

1:07 AM  
Blogger vulkoqq said...

Somebody asked me if as I've gotten more chiseled I've become more of a prick.

I was a prick once because I was confident. At the time, I happened to be a flabby pig despite hardcore cocaine use.

As time went on, I began to a) get older and b) work out more. As I got more and more in shape it coincidentally became more and more apparent that I was a loser, that I had blown my chance at a successful life. I grew to loathe myself deeply, even as the physical picture improved.

So the two *look* like they're *inversely* related, but in fact it's a coincidence.

1:07 AM  
Blogger vulkoqq said...

Oh, yeah... the point is that I'm much *less* of a prick now.

5:44 AM  
Blogger Miguel Cervantes said...

and i was so enjoying ur posts... but on the other hand, i wish i could be chiseled... hahahahaha

11:51 AM  

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