Wednesday, April 27, 2005

i'm sorry

That I haven't been posting. I just have nothing substantive to say. Lately I've been trying to lose weight. And I've been succeeding like a motherfucker-- i lost 20 lbs in 3 months; I'm ripped as fuck. But a consequence is that for most of the day I'm in a surly, hypoglycemic daze... I saw a random picture of a "cookie cake*" on the internet today and I swear it was like looking at the hottest porn I've ever seen. I think about a warm, glazed Krispy Kreme chocolate doughnut and it almost makes my dick hard... and so I can't write anymore. I can't think anymore... I just want chocolate and pastries.

I'll never make fun of fat chicks again... I can understand now. Seriously, I would rather eat a cupcake than fuck a chick.

* two gigantic cookies sandwiching a layer of icing, topped by more icing.

6 Comments:

Blogger Julie said...

Hahah I'm picturing you whacking off to tiramisu.... Tim. For real. You can't do this to your fans. I'm not usually one to blaspheme, but "Fuck."

2:13 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

ok that was more like an ugly curse

5:08 AM  
Blogger Mr. Richard Lee said...

So much for the Caroline myth, er, story.

1:07 AM  
Blogger vulkoqq said...

Somebody asked me if as I've gotten more chiseled I've become more of a prick.

I was a prick once because I was confident. At the time, I happened to be a flabby pig despite hardcore cocaine use.

As time went on, I began to a) get older and b) work out more. As I got more and more in shape it coincidentally became more and more apparent that I was a loser, that I had blown my chance at a successful life. I grew to loathe myself deeply, even as the physical picture improved.

So the two *look* like they're *inversely* related, but in fact it's a coincidence.

1:07 AM  
Blogger vulkoqq said...

Oh, yeah... the point is that I'm much *less* of a prick now.

5:44 AM  
Blogger Miguel Cervantes said...

and i was so enjoying ur posts... but on the other hand, i wish i could be chiseled... hahahahaha

11:51 AM  

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