Sunday, May 01, 2005

caroline caroline caroline

-- I cause myself more stress thinking about this chick-- and I don't even like her that much. She's just hot, and fun to fuck. But she has (**extremely inflammatory comments about her appearance/ anatomy have been excised**), she's not funny like Courtney was-- oh god I feel horrible typing this shit, i know she's going to find it and read it someday. Except she's not, because the very worst part about her is that she's going to end our relationship soon, I know it. Yeah, kind of a -- her ass kind of looks flabby sometimes but in those cute American Apparel boy-underwear it looks all round and tempting.. mmm... OK,....

Great BJ, great pussy, great skin tone.... fuck, maybe i should call her right now.

I just left her a message. It was an OK message, except for the last part where I stupidly finished with "give me a call" -- which should be just fucking obvious, that's why I'm leaving a message-- and my voice degraded into kind of a plaintive, insecure little upturn, like half-asking a question... but otherwise the message was OK.

caroline caroline caroline-- I can't sustain a chick. My level of vulkoqq* is so low-- it's below zero, antimatter vulkoqq that actually absorbs whatever game I might have from-- look, a fucking EXTREMELY hot chick basically threw herself at me and (was) actually fucking hung up on me, because I'm so goddamn smart and charming-- and I AM STILL FUCKING BLOWING IT. What I need is to also be fucking another chick. It's the only way I can keep the level of confidence that even a normal human being has.

Or I need to keep fucking this chick so I can fuck other chicks**... like my neighbor, the archconservative church girl who's so fucking gung ho about the Iraq war that she named her pet squirrel "General Tommy Franks--" I am not making this up-- but she has big titties. And what's more, I know from a close personal friend of hers that while she is a bible thumping freak who is still a virgin, she has in a kind of letter-but-not-spirit-of-the law trick sucked off 86 guys at the tender age of 22. Which is not that many I guess, but number 87 doesn't seem like it would be such a big deal to her, you know? Ok- and who has a pet squirrel, anyway? Girls from the fucking backwoods, that's who. And those girls are hoes.

I was over there last night to get some eggs, and after the transaction-- I know she is going to suck my dick. I can just tell... some girls, they kind of making a point of standing a litle too close to you when they talk. And the message is: I scarf cock. She's a little thick, too. Getting your dick sucked by a chubby chick is so much more satisfying, somehow...

Holy shit they just invited me over for daiquiris-- see?

Now I'm all nervously overanalyzing my voicemail in retrospect-- "want to see if you still want to hang out, which I definitely do--" who the fuck says that? What the fuck is the matter with me? And I'm taking it apart with a fine toothed comb even though I'VE ALREADY BEEN FUCKING THIS CHICK FOR TWO WEEKS. Jesus fucking Christ! What the goddamn motherfucking fuck is the matter with me? I am some kind of colossal, hideous mistake on the part of God--

She's great to fuck though... she has a really nice pussy-- no flappy deli-meat beef drapes, everything is nice and contained. ... it still tastes OK in the morning, although any chick is going to taste a little sour.... when she gets on top she can move real good... she comes fast, too which is always a fucking relief... although afterwards her pussy gets all loose and I have to pound her all soullessly and machinelike to get off.

Chicks get lazy like that.

Gen. Tommy Franks

* So finally I get around to answering this one. Vulkoqq is like-- girls will never talk to you. But then when you have a girlfriend, suddenly they're all over you because you don't give a shit. That apathetic confidence = vulkoqq.

** Because of vulkoqq-- see?


Blogger vulkoqq said...

ok, the asterisks are where the name used to be, obviously

11:52 PM  

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